Don’t get me wrong. I like automatic updates. They keep my systems running, updated and relatively bug-free. I think automatic updates are a Good Thing. But there are also (as always) Bad Implementations. Nokia’s phone updater is one. This is a short transcript of what happened, a play in 5 scenes.
Scene 1: the start
N900: *ping* I want to update my Meamo 5 firmware, please tap here.
Me: *tap*
N900: I am sorry, I have to be connected with a nonstandard USB-cable to Nokia Software Updater Software to update my software.
Me looks for cable, finding out I lost it, look for it in Nokia shop, it goes for 25 euros. Too much. Luckily this shop had it for 4,45. Order, wait two days.
Scene 2: first try
Me boots up Windows Vista and connects N900 to the PC.
Me: *tap update*
N900: I am sorry, I have to be connected with a USB-cable to Nokia Software Updater Software (NSUS) to update my software.
Me: *start NSUS*
NSUS: I am sorry, I have to update the Nokia Software Updater Software before I can update the software on your phone.
Me: *click OK*
NSUS: Okay, downloading 35 MByte and updating the Nokia Software Updater.
NSUS: Please restart your PC before I can continue.
Me: *restart*
Scene 3: first reboot
Me: *start NSUS*
NSUS: Please connect your phone and click continue
Me: *connect and click*
NSUS: I cannot find your phone.
Me: *try again*
NSUS: I cannot find your phone.
Me: Hmm. Maybe this gazillionth Windows update is needed before anything works again…
Scene 4: second reboot
Me: *start NSUS*
NSUS: Please connect your phone and click continue
Me: *connect and click*
NSUS: Hey, an N900! Shall I delete everything and update, or do you want a backup?
Me: *make backup and try again*
NSUS: Okay, downloading firmware!
NSUS: Ow, I didn’t tell you, Nokia hosts the update site on a C64. Soooo, that 20MBit/s cable internet connection you have? Pretty useless.
Windows Vista: No, no, that’s me. I decided you need to install some updates and to do so, I disconnected your network connection.
Scene 5: third reboot
(repeat steps from 2nd reboot)
Windows Vista: No, no, that’s me. I decided you need to install some updates and to do so, I disconnected your network connection.
Me: Screw it, I’ll use a fysical cable to connect my comupter to the internet and disable the WLAN.
Windows Vista: Hahaa, I still keep nagging you with weird popups about network connections and do my hard disk gymnastics!
NSUS: Don’t worry, I’ll continue downloading the firmware. With speed this time.
NSUS: Updating … 50%…. failed!
Me: Try again
NSUS: Updating … 100%… success!
N900: *boot*
N900: Welcome to your N900. For your convenience I removed all you installed applications and desktop settings. I also forgot all my WLAN connections.
Me: …
NSUS: No. Putting the backup back doesn’t fix that.
N900: But installing the app is all that is needed. Settings seem to exist still.
N900: And you can browse in portrait mode now!
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